For DavidOn the way to see a friend
who might have died like Keats, her lungs, like his, consumed to lace, I pass them, a nimbus of women in starched white gowns surrounding the door to David’s room. Each day they whisper, flip coins, decide who must bring his dinner in. Afraid to breathe his air, they must go home dreading night sweats, scales registering less each day. Sometimes I see him in the moments when the door swings open, closed. He’s beautiful, a Carravagio Cupid, dark hair, darker eyes, curved shoulder blades hinting of wings, and he stares out the window across the valley just beginning to blossom, as if somewhere in the puzzle of bare trees lies the reason he’s left alone, his body collapsing in on itself like the building he saw dynamited on Public Square, or the final moments of a star. In Michigan, a man driving home sees a dog cowering at the center of the road, swerves into the path of a semi. On the news I see his shattered windshield. It resembles, in the light of setting sun, luminous pools of blood. Another world, my friend’s room, heart-shaped balloons tied to her bedrails, air perfumed with tiger lilies, yellow roses, baby’s breath. From her fourth floor window we watch a helicopter setting down in a baseball diamond, the only open ground for miles. It has crossed some distance we can only imagine, delivers to a waiting ambulance a chest no larger than a picnic basket, its sides inscribed with red crosses. Then, in a flurry of dust and dead leaves the copter rises, its canary yellow frame disappearing, she says, like a dream she can no longer believe in. At twenty, I saw a boy vanish beneath the frozen surface of Lake Erie, his breath suspended in the frigid air. I remember how the ice zigzagged under me as I reached out, pulled him towards light, and my mothers disbelief when I told her, how pale she was, and angry. My friend, too, is surprised, says I was impulsive, foolish. She cannot understand, as I believe David does, some things are worth risking everything for, even the love, however brief, of a stranger. |